Looking towards the future cautiously

I know its been a long time since my last post but there has been alot going on these days. We found out on Easter that we are expecting our 2nd child and I have been having alot of exhaustion and morning sickness. I am now more aware of what can happen and go wrong so I find myself worrying over the smallest things. I am so afraid that this little one will join their big brother in heaven. I hope and pray that we make it past 27 weeks this time and that we get to bring our sweet baby home. My heart is so heavy as I miss Peyt more every day. I would give anything to see my sweet baby smile just one more time.
We also went to a memorial at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital where Peyt passed away. It was bittersweet to be at the last place where I held my child. It was a beautiful service and a room full of people who were all a part of a club that no one should have to belong to. I wish that another parent never had to say goodbye to their child again, but there is a reason for everything. I miss my sweet baby each day as his brother/ sister grows inside me and can't help but wish it was him and I could have my time with him again. Its not that this baby isn't wanted or loved for who he/she will become. This baby is a blessing I know, but I am human.
Anyways, I am going to go get some sleep now and try to get ready for another night at work. In case you are wondering this sweet baby is due December 22nd. Please pray for my husband and I while we struggle to figure out how to enjoy this pregnancy, and that this child will be born healthy and on time. Thanks so much. God bless you all.