Friday, May 29, 2009

Looking towards the future cautiously

I know its been a long time since my last post but there has been alot going on these days. We found out on Easter that we are expecting our 2nd child and I have been having alot of exhaustion and morning sickness. I am now more aware of what can happen and go wrong so I find myself worrying over the smallest things. I am so afraid that this little one will join their big brother in heaven. I hope and pray that we make it past 27 weeks this time and that we get to bring our sweet baby home. My heart is so heavy as I miss Peyt more every day. I would give anything to see my sweet baby smile just one more time.
We also went to a memorial at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital where Peyt passed away. It was bittersweet to be at the last place where I held my child. It was a beautiful service and a room full of people who were all a part of a club that no one should have to belong to. I wish that another parent never had to say goodbye to their child again, but there is a reason for everything. I miss my sweet baby each day as his brother/ sister grows inside me and can't help but wish it was him and I could have my time with him again. Its not that this baby isn't wanted or loved for who he/she will become. This baby is a blessing I know, but I am human.
Anyways, I am going to go get some sleep now and try to get ready for another night at work. In case you are wondering this sweet baby is due December 22nd. Please pray for my husband and I while we struggle to figure out how to enjoy this pregnancy, and that this child will be born healthy and on time. Thanks so much. God bless you all.

3 comments:

Joylynn said...

Bless your heart! I understand about the morning sickness! Ugh! With my first son, I didn't have one problem. No morning sickness, nothing. Man, I thought that's the way things were going to be with any child I had. Ha! Wrong! lol Here's a tip that might help. They always say 'saltine crackers' or pretzels. They say the salt helps. Well. so do popsicles! A friend of mine told me about it, because she had bad morning sickness. And it works! Any pops will work, but the best is the 'ice-pops' that are sort of long and skinny. They are awesome!!

But anyways.. CONGRATULATIONS!!! It is a blessing from God. But, your feelings are a normal part of the grieving process. I will be in prayer for you. Remember, you can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength!! : )

God bless you,
Joy

skyesofblue said...

I am so sorry for this journey you are on. I will pray for all of you. I pray that Christmas 2009 will find you filled with happiness
holding your precious newborn baby.

Carly Nicole Elliotte My Micro Preemie said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! I know how stressful a new pregnancy can be. Just lay your worries and fears on the Lord. I know, it's easier said than done. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope you get some comfort from the MS soon.

Rachel