This time of year

I know its been a long time since I have posted. I have been busy getting ready for Peyton's lil sister's arrival. This time of year is so hard especially this year. I want to be excited and happy for our new lil girl's birthday and first Christmas but I miss my sweet boy so badly. He would be so big now. I know people think that by having a new baby on the way all the pain of missing your baby goes away. Sometimes I think its just the opposite. I will be a mother of two but only have one child with me. Everyone asks, "is this your first?" and I have to give the dreaded no my son passed away at 4 months old. Then its always"I'm sorry." I know unless you have been through this you can't truly understand. There will never be a time when I don't miss my son or want to be with him, even if I had 10 more children he is still my lil boy. I am going to go for now but I will try to post again a lil sooner next time.