Goodbye 2008: The best and worst year of my life

I am feeling a lil torn today as I prepare for the new year. This time last year I was looking forward to 2008 and my new life as a mommy. Now I look forward to 2009 as a new start after my sweet angel baby went to heaven. Best day of my life was April 5th, 2008 as I gave birth to Peyton Elijah Ray Walker, 1lb 9 oz 13 inch miracle. Worst day of my life was August 8th, 2008 as I had to say goodbye to my sweet miracle. I hope that Peyt knows he will never be forgotten. He will always be my baby, my first child. No matter if I am blessed with others he will always be my first. I love him and miss him everyday. Its hard sometimes to just get through the day I want him here so badly. I go on because I have to. God gives me strength or I would never get out of bed. I am looking forward to the new year and hope that 2009 will bring more memories and a better year. I look forward to trying again as I know the joy being a mother brings thanks to my sweet Peyton. I never knew my heart could love so much and so unconditionally. I would have gone to the ends of the earth to have him here, but I do feel peace knowing where he is. I love you Peyton. You are the highlight of 2008. Mommy misses and loves you so much. Happy New Year in heaven!